In celebration of one Lee Taemin‘s latest solo release, it seemed only fitting that I dedicate this Throwback Thursday to the man himself. We’re going to be taking a stroll down the sexy, unnecessary rudeness of the concert version of “Thirsty.” (And just in time for Valentine’s Day.)

I …

Let me just …

Okay … just … watch the video while I figure out where to start.

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?! What even …? Who even allowed …? WHAT?

I’m just gonna ignore the video for now because I can’t form real words to even unpack that mess. But it’s not like the song’s any better. First of all, its laid-back sensuality is enough to make one rather uncomfortable. But then the producer had the audacity … the unmitigated gall to throw a drop in there so full of bass the reverb blast shook my damn speakers! If we take a step away from the utter “nopeness” of the MV, we notice that death drop isn’t actually as aggressive on the album version of the song. Unfortunately (or fortunate for those who like being able to breathe like normal people), that does take away some of the song’s impact, if only by a fraction. But it’s that fraction that has me coming back to the “OFF-SICK Concert Performance” so damn much! First of all … who even allowed him to start the song off whispering the song’s title in my ear. Listen, sir … friend … my guy … YOU DON’T KNOW ME LIKE THAT! Then that grimy triplet intro on top of a smooth as body-hot silk groove. It already has all the elements of a song made from and for sinful things. But that BEAT! It’s small production choices like adding extra EQ bass (and a gritty filter for good measure) just as Taemin goes into the chorus that makes me sometimes marvel at the production team at SM Entertainment. Sometimes there’s some true subtle genius in that team.

Now if we must explore the video, okay. Fine. Let me just say this. I know it’s been a (somewhat creepy) thing to salivate over the SHINee maknae. Hearing from hordes of older fans how they couldn’t wait for him to turn 21 (and those who are a little less savory, 18) always sort of just made me side-eye some of fellow Shawols. Even when he did reach an age where one would feel less skeevy drooling over him, I didn’t find anything even remotely sexy about him. I applauded his embrace and exploration of his sexual fluidity. Shouted from the mountaintops how elated and proud I was of him for (perhaps unconsciously) taking the same route of his senior in Xiah Junsu and absolutely decimating his shell, flourishing into a sexual creature and redefining his own standards for gender expression. But I never once felt anything more than sisterly admiration for his maturity and desire to grow into himself.

Then … THIS MV happened. I swear to everything holy I never even saw it coming! He hit the first beat in the chorus and all my lady bits sort of exploded a little. The sinuous nature of his movements … the imagery in some of the choreography … his lines. Just look at the image I used for the header. It tells you everything you need to know about what this MV did to me and I’m sure thousands of Shawols around the world.

All that in mind, it’ll come as no surprise to you that I’ve not actually watched the “WANT” MV yet. I mean … you know I’m not ready for all that stress.

(YouTube [1][2].)

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